Manipulative, Selfish, Ass!

There are many ways to learn a life lesson. Regretfully, most people learn it the hard way, by direct experience. There are equal chances of meeting a good person and a bad one. But the bad ones always stun me with their lack of consideration for everyone else. 

I don't hate a lot of things in this world but those people must be in the top 2. The other would be the same people with additional traits such as: manipulative, scheming, conniving... etc. Those that calculate their every move in life to benefit themselves. Those that I wish to never come into contact with. Those that I wish nothing good for. Those like him.

manipulation is your game

to get whatever you want

you never lose, only gain

nothing you won't or can't

you had me in your grasp

you had complete control

but how long did it last?

before the end of the lull

did you think it was right?

to treat me as you did

did you think i wouldn't fight?

don't treat me like a kid

you are unbelievable

a dark, cold nightmare

treating me like a tool

didn't you even care?

i can't get my head

around who you really are

the lies you gracefully fed

you left me... scarred

i depise your ways

your lack in consideration

for you, it'll sure be okay

be what of me, from your actions?

i should've seen the signs

i should've seen it all

you really are one of that kind

who just wants me to fall

but you don't need to wait

before you're able to see

how i've changed my fate

to what i choose it to be

you're smiling now

you think i'm crushed

but you'll be wowed

by what you've lost!

you'd have nothing to gain

you would lose it all

that's when i'd call 'game'

when you'd finally fall

but i am not like you

i have a heart and conscience

i don't treat everyone like fools

that is why you'll see no vengeance

just 'live' your days out

the way you came in

confident and without

a care beneath your skin

you'll do just fine

or maybe you won't

either way i don't mind

what you do or don't

initiative. persistence. success.

A person can only be so patient. We can only wait for so long. It doesn't matter if you've set a date two weeks from now, if you plan to ignore them til the day, then that date may not even happen. A lot can happen in a short amount of time. If you become complacent... Then it's all over.

Don't waste time. Don't sit around waiting. Don't take what you get given. DO it all yourself! In the end it really only comes down to you, and you only. 

maybe it's better

to move away

from this weather

to a sunny day

rain may bring more fish

but shine bring more smiles

i just want to feel the bliss

of having something worthwhile

maybe i move too quickly

or maybe you're just too slow

but you must move swiftly

if you don't want me to go

a life is only blessed

with so much time

just stand up and confess

what's been on your mind

you may think i did wrong

but at least i'm not standing still

instead of being strung along

i stepped up and kept with my will

the song is telling us to dance

be a man, ask for the honour
if you don't cherish this obvious chance
we won't have a happily ever after

defeat.

'Taking the road less travelled' is, of course, a risk. It's not the smoothest path, but there is a chance of a better end. In modern society, it is a norm that gender roles be played in reverse. Woman working equal with men, girls asking out guys, even proposing. A girl is still a girl though. 

Despite the changes of time, a girl still likes to be 'wined and dined'... They like to be treated well, special. I've taken a shot. I've tried something new. But I'm tired. I'm done.

we are so naive

to think we've a future

to actually believe

that life can be so sure

i hate myself for falling

i hate you for being here

i hate all this aching

i hate how nothing's clear

you cannot torture me more

yet you haven't a clue

what else can i do you for?

lower more of my value?

if you feel what you say

then act it out to me

be a man and convey

what you want us to be

i'm done with this chasing

i really, truely am

i don't see this continuing

we don't have a chance


we never think far ahead

until the water is at our feet

into our homes, schools, beds

all that's left to do is to accept defeat

Back to Square One

Ever felt like you walked a long, long way just to end up at the beginning? Going round and round in circles and just getting nowhere? That's how I'm feeling. Life this year has opened my eyes so much. Just one blink and the world has changed again. But I'm still in the same place. I'm still here.

It takes a lot of courage to pursue something or someone. And I must say even with my confidence and humour with friends and family, I am not the same when I set my mind to a certain someone. 

But once I step up and see the entire view... I feel like backing down and attempt to look for a new path. As soon as I can see a glimpse of what the future might look like, I run... I never want to know. I want to live in the moment. But I can't help but think about things I shouldn't be thinking about...

My mind overflows with potential outcomes and processes and I just wipe it clean and then start all over again...

my mind is blank

i've got no aim

i don't understand

i don't have pain

i don't have directions

knowledge of where to go

no set destination

no path, no road

i'm a blank slate

i've no expectations

i've nothing to await

truly without motivation

all that i've known

are now cleared away

mind and body, all alone

'living' day by day

turning left and right

just to end up here

aiming for a light

that isn't even clear

what am i to do

what will be better

what am i to choose

what are my choices

unsure, uncertain

unlikely to pull through

a chance of a million

that i won't fail you

heaven on earth

A dream can be endless, but it only takes a moment to wake up. Yeah I've snapped back into reality... And found that it isn't so bad after all. So, you win some, you lose some. Although, I'm thinking this loss might not be so great compared to what it is I am to gain... Sound like a fortune cookie? I can only hope!

smiles and laughs, are free

joy and bliss, are boundless

even in some cases of cruel reality

you can find this brightness

he's not the one but he is a start

my prince may take a few more miles

to get to this place, to get to my heart

but in the end i'll shine a great smile

you know it and i do too

nothing can stop what is to come

i'll wait for my turn, stand in the queue

and when i get there, there'll be the one

and one day, i will tell this in reverse

of how i met this perfect person

of the better and the worse

of how they made earth, heaven

playing it cool.. almost cold actually.. -.-

Soo... my bad-ass brick actually floats! Leading to me giving in on the repressing-those-feelings deal.. so what's a girl to do? Well, my emotions have betrayed me but I still got another plan. This is probably plan D now... 

My heart can beat as fast as it wants, legs can weaken BUT my facial expression ain't changing the slightest! Keeping the straight face, casual walk, smile, wave... "Wasssup?!" and that's a **NoooOOOoOoOooOOooOOoO!!!**

The possible thoughts going through his head:

a) *she's a little too happy... weirdo*

b) *oh so we're just friends... I get it*

c) *smile, wave... RUN!!*

d) all of the above.

OK so off to plan E because I've got no more confidence in plan D -.- ... And that is to stop planning! There's just too much in this world that cannot be anticipated... All I can do is bring my A game in any scenario, whether this be in friendship or relationship; I'll do my best!

my heart pounding

a million times more fast

when he's just standing

or just sitting there in class

i put on a confident smile

wave, and turn around

acting calm, all the while

hoping my secret hasn't been found

i can't act or illude

i can't hide or disguise

what i feel for you

how you look in my eyes

i love the chase

but i hate reality

what i've got to face

what's really meant to be