Lead Me.

How many romances have bloomed upon the dancefloor? How many have ended there? It can be the most wonderful place to lose yourself... in the music, in the moment. Where it can truely be just the two people and everyone else is just a blur. 

It is there that I truely fell for him. It is there that I'll always remember him. It is there that we'll never be again.

it only takes a pair

to fill a dancefloor

for applause to fill the air

for uncertainty to turn assured


one step forward

leads one step back

bringing two, clustered

and us on the right track


we may stumble at times

not every step can be perfect

but knowing we’ll be fine

makes every step worth it


my world can be spun

out of complete control

but i know you’ll be the one

to catch me when it’s time to fall


i know we felt like one

in that very moment

and to that very song

the rest of the world was silenced


but when the music stopped

the feelings didn’t do the same

and how i’d hoped

we’d dance that dance again


but it’ll never happened

for reality has resumed

we have finally awakened

from that dream, that illusion

don't give up, just because of the downs.

Ah... nothing beats the emotions of the beginning of potential love... The excitement, the chase, the guessing, the nerves... the memories to-be. The chance and possibilities of a happily ever after. No matter how many times I fall or my heart gets shattered. I'd never want to give up on love for these reasons. And of course because right now, I feel very hopeful with this guy :)

In short... he makes me smile... :D

catching your gaze

from across the room

sending me into a daze

my heart starts to bloom

smiling and laughing

at your every move

singing and dancing

but always looking at you

a hug out of no where

sends my heart beating fast

i would've fainted, i swear

if i knew it'd forever last

words, that'd mean the world

to me, to my emotions

from your lips, they unfurled

just part of conversation


but no matter there
cuz i have no expectations
just living in the moment here
with you in this revelation


step by step is what we'll take
to get from here to there
and it will be what we make
that we'll keep, love and care


just smile with me now
and cheer the night away
don't think of the downs
cuz it'll always be okay

initiative. persistence. success.

A person can only be so patient. We can only wait for so long. It doesn't matter if you've set a date two weeks from now, if you plan to ignore them til the day, then that date may not even happen. A lot can happen in a short amount of time. If you become complacent... Then it's all over.

Don't waste time. Don't sit around waiting. Don't take what you get given. DO it all yourself! In the end it really only comes down to you, and you only. 

maybe it's better

to move away

from this weather

to a sunny day

rain may bring more fish

but shine bring more smiles

i just want to feel the bliss

of having something worthwhile

maybe i move too quickly

or maybe you're just too slow

but you must move swiftly

if you don't want me to go

a life is only blessed

with so much time

just stand up and confess

what's been on your mind

you may think i did wrong

but at least i'm not standing still

instead of being strung along

i stepped up and kept with my will

the song is telling us to dance

be a man, ask for the honour
if you don't cherish this obvious chance
we won't have a happily ever after

defeat.

'Taking the road less travelled' is, of course, a risk. It's not the smoothest path, but there is a chance of a better end. In modern society, it is a norm that gender roles be played in reverse. Woman working equal with men, girls asking out guys, even proposing. A girl is still a girl though. 

Despite the changes of time, a girl still likes to be 'wined and dined'... They like to be treated well, special. I've taken a shot. I've tried something new. But I'm tired. I'm done.

we are so naive

to think we've a future

to actually believe

that life can be so sure

i hate myself for falling

i hate you for being here

i hate all this aching

i hate how nothing's clear

you cannot torture me more

yet you haven't a clue

what else can i do you for?

lower more of my value?

if you feel what you say

then act it out to me

be a man and convey

what you want us to be

i'm done with this chasing

i really, truely am

i don't see this continuing

we don't have a chance


we never think far ahead

until the water is at our feet

into our homes, schools, beds

all that's left to do is to accept defeat

smiles all round :)

I just found these two verses in one of my drafts from a while back but it fits how I felt a few nights ago. When I'm dancing with my friends or anyone, I get carried away by the songs and the people. I forget how breathless I am and just keep dancing. This describes something similar to that but on a different level. 

spinning on the dance floor

no thoughts of past, future or present

just i know that i won't fall

because i can feel your presence

as we cast adrift

either on plains or at sea

as long as our grasps fit

anywhere is where i'm meant to be

From my last post, I felt like I was back to square one, but in a way I was feeling... enlightened. Getting over things. Taking a breath of fresh air. Then it all went down a completely different way than I had expected. It may seem sad to have your emotions controlled by someone else's actions... But in this case I'm pretty happy with it. 

I must say though... I have to thank my dear friend Dilek and her meddling... 'speeding things up' as she puts it. And within these next few verses, you can pretty much picture how I'm feeling now.

the right words

are all you say

nothing is blurred

yet i am in a daze


i didn't want

my heart to race

but now i can't

get this smile to fade


i see the best in you
you bring out the best in me
with you, i never lose
it feels... 'meant to be'


i don't need to sleep

because i'm living a dream
never a reason to weep
only to smile, it seems :)

Back to Square One

Ever felt like you walked a long, long way just to end up at the beginning? Going round and round in circles and just getting nowhere? That's how I'm feeling. Life this year has opened my eyes so much. Just one blink and the world has changed again. But I'm still in the same place. I'm still here.

It takes a lot of courage to pursue something or someone. And I must say even with my confidence and humour with friends and family, I am not the same when I set my mind to a certain someone. 

But once I step up and see the entire view... I feel like backing down and attempt to look for a new path. As soon as I can see a glimpse of what the future might look like, I run... I never want to know. I want to live in the moment. But I can't help but think about things I shouldn't be thinking about...

My mind overflows with potential outcomes and processes and I just wipe it clean and then start all over again...

my mind is blank

i've got no aim

i don't understand

i don't have pain

i don't have directions

knowledge of where to go

no set destination

no path, no road

i'm a blank slate

i've no expectations

i've nothing to await

truly without motivation

all that i've known

are now cleared away

mind and body, all alone

'living' day by day

turning left and right

just to end up here

aiming for a light

that isn't even clear

what am i to do

what will be better

what am i to choose

what are my choices

unsure, uncertain

unlikely to pull through

a chance of a million

that i won't fail you

heaven on earth

A dream can be endless, but it only takes a moment to wake up. Yeah I've snapped back into reality... And found that it isn't so bad after all. So, you win some, you lose some. Although, I'm thinking this loss might not be so great compared to what it is I am to gain... Sound like a fortune cookie? I can only hope!

smiles and laughs, are free

joy and bliss, are boundless

even in some cases of cruel reality

you can find this brightness

he's not the one but he is a start

my prince may take a few more miles

to get to this place, to get to my heart

but in the end i'll shine a great smile

you know it and i do too

nothing can stop what is to come

i'll wait for my turn, stand in the queue

and when i get there, there'll be the one

and one day, i will tell this in reverse

of how i met this perfect person

of the better and the worse

of how they made earth, heaven

playing it cool.. almost cold actually.. -.-

Soo... my bad-ass brick actually floats! Leading to me giving in on the repressing-those-feelings deal.. so what's a girl to do? Well, my emotions have betrayed me but I still got another plan. This is probably plan D now... 

My heart can beat as fast as it wants, legs can weaken BUT my facial expression ain't changing the slightest! Keeping the straight face, casual walk, smile, wave... "Wasssup?!" and that's a **NoooOOOoOoOooOOooOOoO!!!**

The possible thoughts going through his head:

a) *she's a little too happy... weirdo*

b) *oh so we're just friends... I get it*

c) *smile, wave... RUN!!*

d) all of the above.

OK so off to plan E because I've got no more confidence in plan D -.- ... And that is to stop planning! There's just too much in this world that cannot be anticipated... All I can do is bring my A game in any scenario, whether this be in friendship or relationship; I'll do my best!

my heart pounding

a million times more fast

when he's just standing

or just sitting there in class

i put on a confident smile

wave, and turn around

acting calm, all the while

hoping my secret hasn't been found

i can't act or illude

i can't hide or disguise

what i feel for you

how you look in my eyes

i love the chase

but i hate reality

what i've got to face

what's really meant to be

potential to fail

So, easier said than done. I'm not able to just forget something because its too hard and confusing to let it exist in my mind. Though there are a lot of things I don't want to think about, now and in the past, this has got to be one of the toughest cases.

I like to day-dream, dream in that little space of time between hopping into bed and falling asleep, and of course the usual sleep-dreams because they are unpredictably amazing. I think of all the 'what ifs'... What if I hadn't done this or what if that person had done that... What if my assumptions are true... What if the 'advice' I get to my liking are true? What if... this false hope, is more true than I thought...

I love getting advice that comes in my favour, but I try to avoid getting my hopes up. I hate being let down, especially by false hope that I feed myself. I've decided from the beginning, that despite all the frustration what exists now is too special for me to risk over a potential outcome... One that to me, that looks less and less likely as I think of it. 

I do believe, when two people are attracted to each other, there is a certain vibe between them. That is what makes it obvious between each other about their feelings... And when I can't sense it from the other person, I know they don't feel the same way. But through the encouragement of the lovely people around me and my own curiosity, I would bring it out in the open, and I tend to be unfortunately right.

This time however, it's not as clear. I think I do feel a vibe but because I don't want to get my hopes up and just frustration in general, I can't think or see straight. This time, it's just different...

whatever comes of this

i know was so from the start

that whatever that exists

was something from the heart

that look and vibe

from the first time we talked

those laughs and smiles

we shared as we walked

the short amount of time

that was able to build a friendship

one i'll always keep in mind

as so imperfectly perfect

if only i could genuinely feel

like the way you probably do

just forget the unreal

the way i feel towards you

the feelings i still hope

that you might reciprocate

that i'm not just a dope

denying the reality of fate

there's always room for you in my life

regardless what is to come

i trust in my heart and sight

you could very well be the one

felt it, thought it, got over it

Finally found a bit of peace and time to do some blogging! This time of year is so stressful... just the amount of work and time that's given that frustrates me... I don't hate it though cuz I do understand that it truely is for our own good, teaching us some valuable skills :)

But all academic stuff aside, I think I'm back in the horrible world of potential love... So of course there is this guy. He is almost perfect I must say. His personality it awesome! Funny, outgoing, jokes around a lot but has an equally serious side. He looks good, dresses well. His an individual that can get along with the crowd... and all the materialistic qualities are checked off. Car, job etc.

I know it won't work out because we are such good friends as in we can't treat each other another way. I think it's like from some tv show I've seen, probably Disney, where once you fall into the friendship circle, that's it - you're friends and only friends. Kinda sucks. But I won't be seeing him much at all after the break anyway... so it made it easier for me to decide to make the most of the time I've got to see him, then... get over it! 

Funny how that works, hey? You see this ideal person for yourself, and you are able to work out the story before it even has the chance to begin? Some people would tell me to go for it or just give it a shot. But it isn't fear or low self esteem that's holding me back, it's the truth. It's the facts that are laid out in front of me. Hence, I gotta move on before it gets too deep. 

LOL I found this by typing in "get over it" on Google Image... love it!