Best Long-Distant Relationship!

So, off the topic of guys for a while cuz my craziest, most beautiful girls are on their way HERE!! These two girls mean the world to me! They are truely family!

Danni && Dilek

2010

They were here around New Years and I can't believe it's been 7 months already... now they are back again :) I feel really, really happy but at the same time kinda annoyed at myself that I don't come and visit them like they visit me.

It's been 3 and a half years since I left Shepparton and parted from these girls... But our friendship hasn't faded a single day. Honestly, I think this is the best long-distant relationship in the history of the world!

Danni & Mong & Dilek

2007

We all only just started hanging out at the beginning of year 9 and I left at the end of that year but the friendship was is strong! I could honestly sit here all week and write about the good memories we've had (red bull and a webcam = crazy!), but I think I'm gonna go and prepare for the new ones we're about to have...

I love you girls!!

xoxox

heaven on earth

A dream can be endless, but it only takes a moment to wake up. Yeah I've snapped back into reality... And found that it isn't so bad after all. So, you win some, you lose some. Although, I'm thinking this loss might not be so great compared to what it is I am to gain... Sound like a fortune cookie? I can only hope!

smiles and laughs, are free

joy and bliss, are boundless

even in some cases of cruel reality

you can find this brightness

he's not the one but he is a start

my prince may take a few more miles

to get to this place, to get to my heart

but in the end i'll shine a great smile

you know it and i do too

nothing can stop what is to come

i'll wait for my turn, stand in the queue

and when i get there, there'll be the one

and one day, i will tell this in reverse

of how i met this perfect person

of the better and the worse

of how they made earth, heaven

playing it cool.. almost cold actually.. -.-

Soo... my bad-ass brick actually floats! Leading to me giving in on the repressing-those-feelings deal.. so what's a girl to do? Well, my emotions have betrayed me but I still got another plan. This is probably plan D now... 

My heart can beat as fast as it wants, legs can weaken BUT my facial expression ain't changing the slightest! Keeping the straight face, casual walk, smile, wave... "Wasssup?!" and that's a **NoooOOOoOoOooOOooOOoO!!!**

The possible thoughts going through his head:

a) *she's a little too happy... weirdo*

b) *oh so we're just friends... I get it*

c) *smile, wave... RUN!!*

d) all of the above.

OK so off to plan E because I've got no more confidence in plan D -.- ... And that is to stop planning! There's just too much in this world that cannot be anticipated... All I can do is bring my A game in any scenario, whether this be in friendship or relationship; I'll do my best!

my heart pounding

a million times more fast

when he's just standing

or just sitting there in class

i put on a confident smile

wave, and turn around

acting calm, all the while

hoping my secret hasn't been found

i can't act or illude

i can't hide or disguise

what i feel for you

how you look in my eyes

i love the chase

but i hate reality

what i've got to face

what's really meant to be

potential to fail

So, easier said than done. I'm not able to just forget something because its too hard and confusing to let it exist in my mind. Though there are a lot of things I don't want to think about, now and in the past, this has got to be one of the toughest cases.

I like to day-dream, dream in that little space of time between hopping into bed and falling asleep, and of course the usual sleep-dreams because they are unpredictably amazing. I think of all the 'what ifs'... What if I hadn't done this or what if that person had done that... What if my assumptions are true... What if the 'advice' I get to my liking are true? What if... this false hope, is more true than I thought...

I love getting advice that comes in my favour, but I try to avoid getting my hopes up. I hate being let down, especially by false hope that I feed myself. I've decided from the beginning, that despite all the frustration what exists now is too special for me to risk over a potential outcome... One that to me, that looks less and less likely as I think of it. 

I do believe, when two people are attracted to each other, there is a certain vibe between them. That is what makes it obvious between each other about their feelings... And when I can't sense it from the other person, I know they don't feel the same way. But through the encouragement of the lovely people around me and my own curiosity, I would bring it out in the open, and I tend to be unfortunately right.

This time however, it's not as clear. I think I do feel a vibe but because I don't want to get my hopes up and just frustration in general, I can't think or see straight. This time, it's just different...

whatever comes of this

i know was so from the start

that whatever that exists

was something from the heart

that look and vibe

from the first time we talked

those laughs and smiles

we shared as we walked

the short amount of time

that was able to build a friendship

one i'll always keep in mind

as so imperfectly perfect

if only i could genuinely feel

like the way you probably do

just forget the unreal

the way i feel towards you

the feelings i still hope

that you might reciprocate

that i'm not just a dope

denying the reality of fate

there's always room for you in my life

regardless what is to come

i trust in my heart and sight

you could very well be the one

releasing my cold hands
from a frail, old rope
just to understand
that now there is hope

i thought holding on
would make you stay
yet you are gone
and here, i'm still, today


sitting here alone
on a cold empty evening
hands cold as stone
just silently wondering


where i would be now
if i had not waited
not waited around
for something unfated


then i'm sitting here
and wasting more time
still not seeing clear
still lost within my mind

false hope is so cruel

it lets us live a dream

one that will never come true

no matter how real it seems

don't tell me white lies

that my wish will come true

i rather stay in denial

than end as the unwanted

just let my life run it's course

at its own damn pace

there'll be mistakes and flaws

but they are for me to face

you can or can't foresee

you may or may not be able to speak

what lies ahead for him and me

what it is we are to seek

stop wondering

Some days I'd wish for a happy ending, but other days, I'd wish for the moment to last a life time. 

Cuz the way I see it, how can it be a happy ending if it's an ending. I want an everlasting happy moment. One that will never end. 

But then again, if that was the happiest I've been so far in my life, how do I know I can't be happier? My mind goes round and round in circles, thinking about what I got, what I want, and what I actually need.

Greed, curiosity... No matter how happy a person is, these elements will never leave them.

happily ever after

cannot be happy

it'll be the last chapter

of you and me 

i want more stories

i want more suspense

but i guess for more to be

there's gotta be more ends

for wishes to come true

there's gotta be one made

but we are all fools

for being too afraid

to stick to one path

without wondering for another

we keep doing the math

just to end up with a blur

sometimes life

can feel like a sinkhole

so don't cause more strife

for things you can control 

be loyal to what you choose

be thankful for what you've got

if you don't, you'll loose

a little more than just the lot 

to her right, sits a guy

that she sense, is right

to his left, sits a girl

like any other, in the world

they met not long ago

he, 19, and she but 17 years old

on a windy Autumn day

near the end of the month of May

she was walking up

he was running down

a road with enough

leaves to cover the ground

the wind blew her luscious hair

across her angelic eyes

he was in a rush to get somewhere

and fate caught them by surprise

who knew that road would lead

to a fate no one could foresee

they fell further than the ground that day

so deep, so close, but then so far away

in a few short weeks

they befriended one another

what they had was unique

making their hearts fonder

but like any girl and guy

they're just a tad shy

dying to impart their feelings

but afraid an unhappy ending

love can make things a blur

no light can outshine it all

until you know they're yours

until you've taken the fall

what could possibly happen
if they were to take the chance
a least they took some action
at least they took a stance


and so they did...

felt it, thought it, got over it

Finally found a bit of peace and time to do some blogging! This time of year is so stressful... just the amount of work and time that's given that frustrates me... I don't hate it though cuz I do understand that it truely is for our own good, teaching us some valuable skills :)

But all academic stuff aside, I think I'm back in the horrible world of potential love... So of course there is this guy. He is almost perfect I must say. His personality it awesome! Funny, outgoing, jokes around a lot but has an equally serious side. He looks good, dresses well. His an individual that can get along with the crowd... and all the materialistic qualities are checked off. Car, job etc.

I know it won't work out because we are such good friends as in we can't treat each other another way. I think it's like from some tv show I've seen, probably Disney, where once you fall into the friendship circle, that's it - you're friends and only friends. Kinda sucks. But I won't be seeing him much at all after the break anyway... so it made it easier for me to decide to make the most of the time I've got to see him, then... get over it! 

Funny how that works, hey? You see this ideal person for yourself, and you are able to work out the story before it even has the chance to begin? Some people would tell me to go for it or just give it a shot. But it isn't fear or low self esteem that's holding me back, it's the truth. It's the facts that are laid out in front of me. Hence, I gotta move on before it gets too deep. 

LOL I found this by typing in "get over it" on Google Image... love it!